Please take a minute and imagine what you would feel like if every bad thing that ever happened to you was suddenly wiped from your memory.
Go ahead and imagine it. I’ll wait…
Did that feel good? Did it feel amazing even? Did you have a fleeting moment of lightness mixed with a sense of incredulity?
Now ask yourself, “Why do I keep replaying all those negative things over and over again in my head? And why do they affect me so strongly today?”
You are not alone. We all have a tendency to hang onto things. Especially if they were particularly hurtful. And there is evidence that events can leave energy behind in our bodies. That is why a past event can feel like it is happening all over again each time you remember it. You do feel it. That feeling is lodged in your energy.
Here is an exercise I have used to put past events behind me. I’ve not forgotten them, but they don’t actually hurt me anymore.
Pick an event or relationship in your past that continues to bother you.
Now, imagine that the entire thing was a movie written by you. That is right. Imagine that you wrote the screenplay and picked the cast. Imagine that you did this so you could have the starring role and learn something. Experience something difficult first hand.
Now accept that you didn’t write the ending or even direct the scenes. Once begun, the movie has a life of its own and your decisions and fellow actors choose the scenes. And because there is no specific ending, the movie just runs and runs until the star (you) figures out the moral and how to reach a place of understanding and peace.
Some of you might be thinking there is no way you did this to yourself. But what if you did? This earth life is only a short time relatively speaking. From the outside looking in, it is but an instant. So it is conceivable that you headed into something really awful with your eyes wide open. With intent. And my experience says this is very likely how it works. This belief is shared by many.
Did you do a good job casting everyone in their part? Were they incredibly good at being the villain or victim or martyr or whatever role they played? Because they agreed to be in the movie with you. To help you. Sound crazy? Well… it isn’t. I believe you will meet the important players again and talk about how it went. Like a cast party where the villain and victim are actually best friends.
(Having a hard time thinking that is possible? Consider this: Actual tv stars who play villains often report that people on the street hate them. Perfect strangers hate actors because of the role they play. This is so nonsensical. But what if you are doing the same thing? Hating someone in this life for playing a role you wrote for them is no less nonsensical.)
If you can let yourself accept this, all hatred falls away. Like magic. Though it might take a day or two for you to stop shaking your head in wonder.
Figure out the moral of the story. What were you supposed to experience and learn about. I don’t think there are hard and fast rules but start with overarching concepts like “unconditional love” or “low self esteem” or “grief” or “poverty” or “greed”. Maybe you notice a pattern where you’ve had multiple relationships with the same exact experience.
Given the moral, what should the ending be? Because…..”I hate myself” or “I harbor resentment” or “I am a victim” are not endings. This is a key concept. Those feelings do not end the movie! They guarantee it continues to run!
Ideally you want to learn from the experience and move toward a place of understanding and peace. That is how to make the movie end. You see it clearly and objectively for the experience it was, then forgive yourself and others. Then and only then, will it stop playing and allow you to put it on the shelf.
Why is this process important? Because if you do not figure out how to accept, love, forgive and move on, this will continue to plague you. I’ll say that again for effect. If you don’t figure this out and release the emotion from your energy field, the movie keeps playing. Remember Groundhog Day with Bill Murray? He had to keep living the same day over and over until he figured out what he was missing (love). This is your Groundhog Day.
The real key to processing and letting go is to accept the past. What everyone did, including you, was how it was supposed to be. All of it was there for you to experience and learn from.
You’ve done the experiencing, so what did you learn? If you can’t answer that, stop here and sit with it. Figure that part out. If you need help, book a session. Hypnosis can be super helpful in gaining clarity and insight so you can let things go.
You will find that once you accept that you actually had a hand in creating your life’s challenges, you can accept them with gratitude. You can be thankful for the experience and thankful that you emerged with a sense of peace and knowing about it. Reaching that place of acceptance is a true blessing. It feels so liberating. Don’t deny yourself the opportunity. I know it doesn’t sound easy. But it is easier than you think. And it is definitely easier than reliving the negativity over and over. That is hard.
This process works even if someone else is involved. If you need to ask forgiveness, do it. They don’t have to accept it but that is on them. If you need to forgive others, do it. Holding grudges actually holds it physically in your energy, slowing you down. Preventing you from being free. Let it go. Ultimately, this is about you and how you determine to live. After all, you are the star.
Love and forgiveness are the healers of all the things. Loving and forgiving yourself really needs to come first. Be the star you are and let your light shine. Isn’t it time?
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