Negative thoughts throw off your natural flow of energy and affect your ability to get through your day. If you recognize yourself as an energetic form, then imagine negative thoughts as heavy weights stuck to your energy and slowing you down. You might imagine rowing a boat laden with too many passengers. It can make you feel like you’re working really hard and getting nowhere. Letting go of negativity is a process and every little step you take helps a lot. Because each time you let go of a negative thought or feeling, you get better at it.

So how to clean things up? You probably have a long time invested in some of that negativity. Other people are involved. There’s a history. It’s complicated.

So try starting small. Pick something simple that bugs you all the time. Maybe it’s something at home, or at work or maybe it’s getting from home to work. Whatever you choose, it has to be something that isn’t far reaching. Just annoying.

Then systematically rid yourself of it. Here are some pointers:

  • Sit for a few minutes and think about it.  The next time this thing bothers you, think about how it bothers you and why it bothers you. Seriously explore the bits and pieces of it including where it affects you physically. You want to know if a deep emotion is being triggered.
  • If someone else is doing this thing ‘to’ you or is causing it to happen, think about that person’s behavior. Why do they behave this way? Do you need to explore the concept of compassion here? Or maybe consider secondary gains? Or can you just find it within yourself to accept that they are who they are on their own journey and not let it affect how you feel?
  • Does this aggravation involve a waste of time – like doing laundry or taking the dog for a walk? If so, ask yourself “What if I spent the time doing this thing like it it the most important thing I have to do that day and I have nothing else to do?” Because if you just allow yourself to focus on the task, the task will stop bothering you.  Wait.. what?? It is true. When I do laundry, I imagine I am a monk in a monastery and laundry is my only job. It becomes amazingly peaceful then. The key is to stop thinking about what you would rather be doing or should be doing and just think about what you actually ARE doing right then!
  • Now that you’ve thought about the issue, set an intent to let it go. Imagine that you are letting it go forever. Never to be bothered by this again. Let yourself feel that relief and revel in it.
  • Then ask for help in letting it go – however you do that. And if you don’t do that, we should talk. Because I believe asking for help is very powerful.
  • And finally, do it. When this thing rears its ugly head, look it square in the face and give it a knowing smile. Say aloud or to yourself,  “This is not important and I’ve been making it important. It isn’t important. It just doesn’t matter. I matter. My health and well being matter. My peace of mind matters. This does not.”

Little by little, take control over your life by observing the negative thoughts when they appear. Get in the habit of noticing them right away. Then notice where the emotion associated with the thought resides in your body. Try to take a step back from yourself and observe the feeling inside you.

Then let it go. You’ve better things to do. Like be happy.